92. I Want to Swim

“When will you teach me how to swim?” she asked. “I am afraid of drowning. I am afraid of deep water. I am afraid of going on boats. I am afraid of flying in planes over the ocean. I want to learn how to swim.” “You don’t need to learn how to swim,” her husband said. “All you need to learn is how to float. Floating is so easy. It’s especially easy for women, because women have more fat than men. Let me give you a quick lesson. To float, lie on your back. Look up at the sky. Spread your arms and legs. Breathe normally. That’s it.” “Yes, that sounds easy,” she said. “But I want to learn how to swim. Swimming is good exercise. Swimming will help me lose weight. Floating will not help me lose weight. If I float for a day, I won’t lose any weight at all.” “Okay,” he said. “I will teach you how to swim this weekend. It will take only a couple of hours. By Saturday night you will be able to swim like a fish.”