158. Don’t Call Me "Honey"

“Don’t call me ‘honey’ anymore,” Fanny said. “Okay, honey,” Rich said. “I mean it!” she said. “Don’t call me ‘honey.’ Don’t call me ‘sugar.’ Don’t call me ‘sweetie.’” Rich was confused. “I am confused, darling,” he said. “Why can’t I call you ‘honey’? Why can’t I call you ‘sugar’? Why can’t I call you ‘sweetie’?” Fanny said, “Because you used to call your ex-wife those names. When you call me those names, I think of your ex-wife. When I think of your ex-wife, I get angry. So don’t make me angry.” Rich was still confused. “But what can I call you, darling?” Fanny said, “Don’t call me ‘darling,’ either. Call me Fanny.” “Yes, dear,” said Rich. Fanny said, “‘Dear?’ Don’t call me ‘dear,’ either. Call me Fanny. My name is Fanny.” Rich said, “I don’t want to call you ‘Fanny’--I want to call you something special.”